Issue link: https://www.ascpskindeepdigital.com/i/1542457
78 ASCP Skin Deep Winter 2026 IT'S OK TO SAY NO Saying no is something many estheticians struggle with. We are natural nurturers. This job attracts people who want to help, comfort, and fix. When a client asks for an extra appointment or a coworker needs a favor, we often say yes, even when our energy is running on empty. Nevertheless, when you are grieving, your energy is fragile. Every conversation, every interaction, every smile can take effort. Saying no becomes not only necessary, it becomes healing. I remember the first time I said no after my husband passed. A close friend invited me to a group dinner. I wanted to go and feel normal again. However, when the time came, I couldn't. I texted, "I'm sorry, I just can't tonight." I felt guilty for canceling but also relieved. I spent the evening at home, wrapped in a blanket, with the dogs by my side. It wasn't glamorous, but it was what I needed. We often feel guilty because we don't want to disappoint others. Here's the truth: You deserve the same care and protection you give others—you can't pour from an empty pitcher. Taking time to rest and reset isn't laziness, it's leadership. When you model healthy boundaries, you teach your students, peers, and clients to do the same. DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR GRIEVING Grief doesn't always fit neatly into our workday. It has no schedule, no polite warning. Sometimes it hits in the middle of teaching a class or while performing a facial. One day in the treatment room, a familiar song came on the playlist—the one my husband and I danced to in our kitchen on weekends. My throat tightened. I tried to push the feeling down, but my eyes filled with tears. Before I knew it, I was crying. My client looked up, concerned, and I immediately began apologizing. She stopped me. "You're human," she said. "You don't have to apologize." That moment changed me. I realized that grief doesn't make us unprofessional—it makes us real. Clients don't expect perfection; they expect authenticity. As estheticians, we often feel pressure to maintain a serene facade. But it's OK to be vulnerable, to take a break, to have moments when you can't hold it together. Grief doesn't follow a timeline. Some people think you should be better after a few months, but grief doesn't expire. It ebbs and flows, changing shape over time. One day you may feel peace, the next, the pain hits like it's new. That doesn't mean you're failing. It means you loved deeply. ASK FOR—AND ACCEPT—HELP "Ask for help? No way—I got this!" That was my mantra for most of my life. Like many in our field, I was used to being the helper, not the helped. But grief humbled me. It reminded me that healing is not meant to be done alone. The adage "It takes a village . . ." became my truth. Clients, students, coworkers, and neighbors formed my village. They showed up in small but meaningful ways—dropping off meals, sending messages, mowing the lawn, or just sitting with me in silence. I learned that letting people help doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're allowing others to love you. STOCKSY